help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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