ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Damn victory sex feels great
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
