Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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