Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
