Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
