i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
