I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
