Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
