I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
