It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
