Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
