that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
