On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
