you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
