Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
