Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
