This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Found the puke drawer
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
