I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
