We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
