I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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