wanna go halves on a baby?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
