oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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