woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
