just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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