Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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