Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
