Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
