Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
