Just fell off a train. Bad.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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