I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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