To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
