do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
