Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
pop tarts are not kleenex
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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