ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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