He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
