I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
