so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I did not marry a roomba.
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