some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
