If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize