i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
