At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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