never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize