Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
