threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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