hotel room ftw
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
