I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
