guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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