Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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