I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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