Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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