and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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