Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
