I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
