so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
