So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
