The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
