I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's Friday. Sex?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
