That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize