Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
my liver is dry heaving
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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