I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
