So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
