Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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