Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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