she smelled like a LAN party
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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